I couldn't see the whole path. I chose my next step.
You may be the woman others rely on. You think ahead. You carry responsibility. You find a way.
And there may still be a decision you keep waiting to feel ready for. I know that wait. I lived in it for years.
Where I started
At almost 18, I arrived in the United States without speaking English. I began with the work I could do: cleaning houses, caring for children, selling nopales my father cut. Alongside that work, I made room for what came next. A GED. Then university, the first in my family to graduate. Then a Master of Science in Counseling.
Some people heard my accent and underestimated my intelligence. Some people close to me read my rising standards as me thinking I was better than them. I kept going. My accent came with me. So did my ambition.
The voice they underestimated
Then I entered television advertising at a national TV network, working on full commission. For nearly 19 years, I built a career as a top-performing senior Account Executive. The voice some had underestimated became the voice I used to build relationships, earn trust, and change minds that were already made up.
I learned to listen beyond the first answer. To ask the question that brought a hesitation into focus. To look for the next opportunity after a loss instead of staying stuck there.
I loved that work. Over time, the work changed, and I changed with it. I was no longer growing.
"I'm not a quitter."
I told myself I wasn't a quitter. So I stayed longer, waiting to feel prepared. More savings. More certainty. More proof. Waiting looked responsible. It was also costing me my best energy.
During that season, I started learning again: classes, trainings, meditation, conscious breathing. I saw what these practices changed at home, for my daughter and for me. Then I used them on my own decision.
Practice slowed me down enough to see what was really happening. "I'm not a quitter" was a belief I had learned long before. At one point it protected me. Now it was holding me in place.
And I had forgotten something. I had already done hard things without knowing what was ahead. I did not need to become someone new. I needed to remember who I already was.
After that, the decision came easily. For me, not being a quitter meant leaving.
Leaving was one of the scariest things I have ever done. Then came the practice of becoming the woman who trusted that choice, and learning that my value was never my job title.
For me, not being a quitter meant leaving.
What usually holds you back
The women I work with are rarely missing skills. They carry a lifetime of proof that they can do hard things. What holds them back is often a belief, a value, or an unmet need they learned long ago. It protected them once. It may not be needed now.
Maybe it's a conversation you rehearse but never begin. A decision you keep waiting to feel ready for. A yes that comes out before you've asked yourself what you want. A room where you hold back the opinion you are known for everywhere else.
You may see the pattern afterward and wonder why that clarity disappears when you need it most.
How we work together
In our work together, we slow a familiar moment down enough to see it clearly. We understand what that response is protecting. Then we practice a new one in the situations where you want something to change.
The Choice by Design Method™ gives that work a structure.
Notice. Understand. Choose. Become.
It is the same process I used on my own decision.
I'm Ade Mota, an Emotional Leadership Strategist and Strategic Interventionist.
Founder of The Emotional Leadership Lab™ and creator of The Choice by Design Method™
Nearly 19 years as a top-performing senior Account Executive in television advertising sales, serving local, national, direct, and agency clients
Master of Science in Counseling
I completed my coach training at Robbins-Madanes Training under my teachers Tony Robbins and Cloé Madanes
Trained at both the Practitioner and Master Practitioner levels in Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Training in conscious breathing
You do not have to see the entire path to begin. You can start with one choice you are ready to practice.
